While on vacation, getting my tires rotated, or waiting in the ‘10 items or less’ supermarket line, I inevitably get into a discussion with somebody about why I wanted to become a priest. I’m very happy to give either the long or short form of my vocation story, but I have come to realize that this is usually a setup for the following cliché (in these or similar words):

“Well, I still think you should be allowed to marry. I don’t understand why the Church hasn’t changed with the times.”

This always elicits a tiny chuckle in the back of my brain. A person who is usually married and doesn’t generally desire ordination to the priesthood is at odds with the Church on an issue of Ecclesiastical discipline that in no way affects him or herself.

I appreciate your ire on my behalf. Are you hoping to be an advocate for my so-called “rights” as a priest?

My response then usually catches the “enlightened” person off guard:

“You know, even if I could marry, I wouldn’t do so. I would remain celibate.”

The stunned silence is usually long enough of a pause for me to continue. I explain that:

1) I am married. To The Church. Mystical, yes. Hard to wrap the brain around, yes. But as a celibate man ordained to the priesthood of Jesus Christ, I imitate The Bridegroom Himself who both enjoys union with and longing for His Bride, The Church.

Just because you don’t believe that this is possible, or a good idea, or a “modern” concept, doesn’t make it an impossibility nor a bad idea nor an archaic concept. God even guides the “man made” rules of the Church, of which the discipline of celibacy is included.

2) There are married clergy within The Catholic Church. The Latin Rite of the Roman Catholic Church is but one “branch” of twenty-three particular Churches that are in full communion with Bishop of Rome, the pope.

In the Roman Rite of the Church, as a matter of spiritual discipline, the priests do not marry, the bishops do not marry, and transitional deacons do not marry. Men who are married before ordination to the permanent diaconate may be ordained, even though they are married.

In the Eastern Catholic Churches, those other 22 sister Churches with a distinct liturgical and disciplinary tradition, still retain the practice of married priests and married deacons. It is interesting to note though, that bishops of all 23 rites are never allowed to marry.

Ye Olde Wikipediae has a pretty good article on this here.

3) I am happy! I don’t feel oppressed, depressed, or repressed. I’m happy to give my life to Jesus in this way. I struggle like anyone in their particular vocation, but I am fulfilled in the path I have taken. If I weren’t, I would be doing something else!

4) Rules and disciplines do not automatically destroy freedom, they can elevate it. The ability one has to make a conscious choice, in this case to the celibate state, is actually an exercise of virtue. Virtue builds upon itself. Properly exercised, grace builds upon virtue, and it makes one holy. Holiness leads to sanctification. Sanctification makes the soul desire heaven. Heaven is the ultimate aim and hopeful destination of us all.

So, next time you meet me in the cereal asile of the Big Box store, I’ll be happy to share my story with you. If you’re loading the barrels to quibble with me over a misunderstanding you have with my Wife, get ready…because I’m packin’ too.